MY SELAH

These are the newest photos we have of Boston. 8/21/08. He now weighs 3lbs 12oz. We have photos of his cute sisters with him but they are on the other camera so those will be up soon.

First time Dave held Boston. Sue was our favorite Nurse. She Just ended her career. She left a book by Boston's bed. It is about a little duck that is always smaller and behind his brothers and sisters. His parents are worried but they keep reminding each other that in his own due time he will be fine. by the end of the book he is the leader of his brothers and sisters. So cute, thank you Sue. We miss you.

First time mom held Boston 5 days after birth. The nurses are so cute. They call it coming out to play.

Dave's hand looks so big next to Boston.

Trying to get our first photo of Boston. We missed!!!
Our first photo of Boston 2 hours after birth.

The CHAMP!!!

BOSS,

The Boss Man is born. Sunday at 5:00 pm exactly little Boston David was born. His APGAR score (Skin Color, Heart Rate, Relfex Irritability, Muscle Tone, Breathing) at birth was a 1 out of 10 (>5 is considered poor). The 1 came because he had a heart rate. Most of the score can be attributed to the fact that Boston swallowed numerous blood clots from Shelby's partial Placenta tear (thought to be Placenta Previa, but wasn't). Once his stomach was pumped and the blood clots removed he was administered Surfactant. This was Boston Miracle drug. After this Boston's APGAR rose to a 4 and then to a 7 within the first hour. He was placed on an advanced Oscillator and after 12 hours was taken to the CPAP flow and after 6 hours there he was given a cannula and oxygen flow. The blood cultures have remained negative and so far Boston is doing well. The road to Bringing Boston Home is still a month or two away, but all things considered we are very pleased and happy with his current status. Please continue to prayer and keep Boston in your thoughts. We are gateful and happy with the current results. Thank you everyone for your support, prayers, thoughts, and for the love you have continued to show our family. We have felt supported and loved throughout this experience. So many amazing people and stories and victory as well as defeat and the devotion to maintain a memory, a hope, and a connection to lost loved ones. We unite with those who have lost and today share the joy of victory over past trials and faith for those to come.

August 3, 2008 (Sunday) 2.14 lbs./15"

We Are Back!!!

Yes, he is finally here! We have been so blessed to have our little boy come into the world happy and as healthy as can be expected... There is some much to tell you about his little journey into life, but I am going to keep the first posting short and then we will add more. We have been so busy putting our lives back together and going up to see him everyday we have not had time to put everything on the blog. Things have slowed down a little bit and we are starting to get back into our routine. Let me give you a quick recap of what has gone on. On August 3 we woke up and had some indications that things were on their way. They sent us down to labor and delivery at about 6:30 in the morning. They said that it was hopefully not the real thing, but that they wanted to monitor me. About an hour later they sent us down and the contractions started. They did not want to give me any medicine in case it was a false alarm (we had already had three). I started to realize that something was different this time. The contractions started at 5 min. apart and were not to bad at first, but they picked up fast. They offered some pain medications, but I get sick on anything but the epidural. They said that they could not give that to me until they new I was in full labor. I tried to reassure them that it was real, but they did not want to check my dilation in case I was in false labor (infection could result). They did give me a dose of some small drug that lasted about ten minutes and they said that it was as strong as a few Ibuprofen. I started to get sick so we decided no more. At about 3:00 they said that I could have an epidural. The anesthesiologist was working on someone else so we had to wait. The Doctors were still unsure if I was in true labor so they were not rushing him along. Luckily I had the nurse on my side. She kept telling them she is in a lot of pain. Finally, at about 4:00 the anesthesiologist came. He was done at 4:20. It took about 20 min to kick in 4:40. The only problem was that I had what they call a hot spot. One side does not numb up. At 4:50 the nurse went to get the doctor to tell them that I was still in a lot of pain. 4:55 they came in so calm "I guess we should check you and put a heart monitor on the babies head." From the time she checked me to the time he came out was 4 min. They checked and said, "oh he is coming.” All I could think was I told you so. I knew and they knew that this little boy had to come fast because we needed to get him on the ventilator as quickly as possible. Luckily he was out in three pushes... One of the reasons we chose this hospital was for the high-tech equipment and for the special delivery rooms they have for high-risk babies. They have what they call a drive through window for baby. They pass the baby right through the window in to the NBICU. Everything happened so fast. Dave had me try and take a picture, while he cut the umbilical cord, but Boston was whisked away so quickly I didn’t’ even snap a photo in time. I tried to take one picture but our camera has a nice little delay, so all I got was my nice beautiful swollen legs as they passed him to the nurse. Dave grabbed the camera and tried to get a picture of him as they passed him through the drive through window. Dave’s photo caught the nurses back and not the Boston. Needless to say, Dave got to see him for a second and I had to wait 2 more hours. We found out later that his first hour of life did not go so well. He had swallowed a lot of blood clots on the way out of the womb from my placenta pulling away. So it took them a minute to figure out why he was doing so badly. They finally got those out and then it he went up from there. When a baby is first born they give them what they call an APGAR score ranging 1-10 (0-2 for 5 categories) 0 being the worst and 10 being the best. Boston was a 1. They said that once they got those out and put the surfactant in the lungs he would do better. He kept fighting and has done so well through all of this. The only info they gave us through the window for 2 hours was that he weighed 2lbs. 14oz. and was 15" long. This seems so weird because most people would not think of 2lbs. 14oz. as a blessing, but we have learned that your perspective can change with your situation. We thought with the placenta pulled away and no water that he would have weighed less. Unfortunately, the weight is a big factor, but the lung development is #1. They were finally able to get him stable and let us go in to see him. He was perfect, just a smaller perfect. Blond hair, which is weird for our kids because so far they have all had jet-black hair. I think he looks like his dad (handsome and strong).
He did very well for the first day. They had warned us that babies have what they call a Honeymoon period for the first 24 hours so don't get to excited. He did really well though. They took him off of the oscillator by 12:00 that night. If they can move them down they want to because too much oxygen can cause damage to the eyes and lungs. Boston skipped the ventilator down from the oscillator and went to the CPAP and cannula. They let us stay and watch them take him off of that on put him on the other one. Nothing is scarier in life then to watch them take your child off of a ventilator to see if he can handle the next one down. I want to say lets just keep him on this one forever. It seemed to be working just fine. He did great on the next ventilator. He has gone through three ventilators They started to give him breast milk through a tube by the 5th day. Then he ran into a little bump. They thought he had an infection. I called the doctor for our daily chat on the phone and she said " last night we thought he had a infection so we did a spinal tap and drew a bunch of blood. He did very well and we will call you if we have to do any big procedures." I thought a spinal tape was a big procedure. They put all of the fluid and blood on petree dishes and see if anything grows for 5 days. Longest five days of our lives. Everything came back negative. So, he had a few good days. The staff got him up to his full feedings a day, which is still so tiny, and after going down to 2lbs 12oz he was finally gaining weight back. A day later he had another bad night. He threw up all of is feedings so they stopped the food and did another spinal tape and drew a bunch of blood. This time it came back positive. He had a staff infection in the blood. Two steps forward and one step back. Another long seven days to see if the antibiotics are working.
Okay you are now pretty much up to speed. He is on his last day of antibiotics, almost up to his full feedings, and weighs 3lbs 12oz. Not doing as well on the oxygen as we had wanted, but he is a fighter and a CHAMP.
We are so proud of him for being so strong and enduring this trial that he has had to go through so young in life. We are also proud of his little sisters for being so strong for each other and being so helpful. I have to say that I am so proud of my solid husband Dave who has played Mr. Mom for the past month and ½. He has been amazing and I am so thankful for all of his love and support. As a family we are so thankful for all of the love and support. We love and appreciate everything that has been done. It all seems as though I have dreamed a dream and the dream continues.

Vitelliani #3 (7/4/08)

Sweetie,

Today was so lonely. We've never been apart for so long. I think of you all the time. My mind has spent a lot of time thinking of all the things we've done. I remember our first kiss (that's between us). I remember our first 4th of July at Jackson Hole and our first New Years Eve in Park City. Every memory is still holding. Those are great memories to recall during our time apart. I can't wait to see you this weekend. I like getting up early and getting you a breakfast bagel from Einstein's Bagels and a steamed milk with almond flavoring. Things like that are a delight. Simplicity is the answer to life. I hope I don't forget to get you whoppers and gum drops tomorrow. I caught word that you were craving those? Kinda funny...These kids are getting closer and closer. They are so good. We couldn't have asked for better children. At a time like this, you'd expect to see them more selfish and turn inward. Instead they've drawn closer to each other. They cuddle and sleep on the bed right next to each other. It's great! I get so proud. You would love it. I love our family. The kids really miss you as well. They cry for you in the middle of the night and ask if we can visit you. That's always a good sign. They love you so much and want to be with you and wish to see you all the time. So do I! I can't wait for little Boston to come. Already he's been a great asset to his sisters and to us as parents. We need to weather every storm and stay strong. Remember that life and death can never be the cause of division amongst the family we already have. May we always be grounded and patient as we endure the weeks to come. I fear the waters will get choppy. I am always here for you and will support you in all you do. Our thoughts and prayers are continually before you. We love you dearly. All of me loves all of you...
Lovingly, David

Cute little muffins...

Vitelliani # 2 (7/3/08)

Shelby,

July is here. Each day is a brighter day and each day renews my hope that much more. I miss you so much. The days grow long without you. Sunday night (June 29, 2008) when we left the Hospital, you must have heard the girls cry out for you. Nothing has ever been more dramatic and yet more heartfelt than that moment. I will never forget the day. I walked out holding both girls in my arms (exhausting) and as I shut the door to your room they began to cry out… “I love my Mommy”… “I love my Mommy”. Over and over they repeated the words as they cried for you comfort and love. They love you so much. A mother couldn’t have felt more loved. I do not exaggerate a word of it. The nurses all smiled and some even swelled up with tears as we walked by. Not one person was anger with their cries at midnight in the Hospital. I was heartbroken and proud. They cried the entire way home. Once we got home and crawled into bed, Caprís went right to sleep, missing Mom of course. Addie stayed up with me and wouldn’t go to sleep. I reproved her a few time before my frustrations got the best of me. I barked at her and she broke into tears. I was so confused. She is bearing the load upon her little shoulders so much and she wants to assist in everything. She is wonderful and full of love. I asked why she was crying and apologized and Addie going on 30 stated, “mommy asked me to help you and you’re not letting me.” Dad, “what are you trying to help me with?” Addie, “you won’t turn off the TV and go to bed and we need to get up early in the morning and get ready. We need a good night sleep for tomorrow.” I was speechless as only I could be. These little ones bring the greatest of joy. At times I cannot fathom the reality that they belong to me. Only a mother like you could bring such happy children to this life. I am so pleased in all they do. They are so funny and curious. They remind me of you and your happy taste for simple things. Occasionally I hear their little giggle around the house and I can’t help but think of you and that dimpled smile. We are lucky. To raise one of these girls would be the pleasure of any Dad and now we have a third on the way. Don’t worry about the girls. The will be provided for and they are loved. Boston will be strong. At times it seems this is all but a reflection of a prior arrangement. There is no way to be sure, of course, but it feels comforting and I like the feeling. We must make the best of our situation and bring light to a darkened situation. I am resolute that our situation can be a great blessing to us and our children if we remain true to each other and exhaust every resource. Knowledge has a great propensity to cast out fear and bring peace. We will make this our aim. I love you sweetheart. All of me loves all of you. Your beloved—David

Vitelliani # 1 (7/1/08)

My dearest love,
We have weathered 4 weeks and 4 days together now. We are separated now and things are harder than they have been due to our separation. I apologize that our situation has become more grim with the possibility of your having gestational diabetes. I know this saddens you greatly as well as the fact that Boston’s heart rate keeps spiking indicating undue stress. Our journey is not an easy one, but our children, if anything, are the delight of our eye and we will sacrifice all for them and their well-being. Is there ever a more noble cause to pursue than the happiness and growth of our children? There could be nothing that makes my heart swell more with vigor and emotion than to fight unceasingly for the life and well-being of our first boy. He is already so much like our other children in the womb…feisty, active, and distinct in his gestures. It seems as though I can relate a little bit of the both of us to his activity as we watch him on the ultrasound. Amazing! Life surely begins in the womb, but as you know, I am most sympathetic to medical terminations and the decisions that families, parents, and mothers must make as it pertains to the quality of life and termination. The assumptions are endless as the mind sorts through the decisions and tries to apply reason and logic to abstract facts. I do not wish to tread through those grounds again, but for our child I will do anything. Life is so bleak and yet so magnificent. If I could take an ounce of truth from this situation I would state that life is the most magnificent of all systems. Not because of the suffering, but as a result of it. The law of opposites grants unto the man the great divide of fortune and fame or misery and despair. Such opposite can cripple a man at the cross roads, but the fact of that choice is present and can be owned is the most sublime grandeurs of thought. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are the choicest of words put forth as mans inalienable rights. Rights to partake in, rights always present in life. I have grasped at the thought that every moment, every choice can seized upon to elevate ones present status. The choice, the power is within all of us and ever present. Hope is the helium of choice and fear the gravity of what might be.
I miss you so much in the quite of the night. I wonder what you are thinking and what is racing through your mind. I know the heart grows fonder with the distance between, but fond hearts have no need of time and distance—only the constant connection that gives life. I miss your smile in the morning, the noise of the children, and their little voices eager to partake in the new day. We have created this sublime circle and I cannot seem to find the spark when my circle is without my own. A day with you is like morning sunshine on my face and at night you are the graceful and constant star in the north. Warmth and guidance. These days I run on the frustration that nature has delivered me. I hope I can be of some good to my boy. He is such a fighter already—he’s a champ. Will my actions be a buffer and strength to him in this forsaken world? And will he always know that ALL my children are the apple of my eye? My prayers have grown dim and my will to act vibrant. These days I feel I am a Deist. The Lord of host, in his wisdom allows for nature to run its course and man to act upon his whims. I will not resort any longer to the notion that I am to accept the death of my child or feel that I am to allow the any misfortune to come upon him. I feel as the Gods before men of all ages, whom rightfully stood up and acted on the moment and turned fate upside down. A man can always to good in any situation, but he must search it out within himself. In these silent moments we find the grit and the will of man to better ones lives and those around him. Some men will draw a circle around themselves, others their families, and yet some men will encompass a great many people and be a mighty star unto them. I will no longer repose the will within me. The time has come for those who can…to stand up and to be a banner to others. I have seen enough suffering in this world to know that many men can do a great evil and that one man can change countless lives and change the minds of man. The fervor I feel can no longer observe the atrocities of choice. As I reflect upon my childhood and recall the great people I have associated with, I can only conclude that my life is of great importance. So much sacrifice, so many teachings, so much care, so much love from so many people. People have provided me so much and I have acted with such frail ambition. Gravity has resisted me enough and our family. We must rise up and be more. Fresno has always been a beacon of strength, a staff of correction, and an anthem to all that is good. I must expand upon those days and make them count a more sure measure to life. I promise you Shelby that our lives will be counted for good, our story will be told, and we will be a buoy to those who have fallen behind and lost the glimmer of life. Everyone should experience a childhood like mine and all should enjoy the company of friends like those from Fresno, California.

From Day to Day

Hang in there CHAMP!

All news is bad news...

The Journey Begins...

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